


The First Law of Motion

by wintershine_xo



Category: GOT7
Genre: got7 with a special guest star of jin, partially inspired by school 2013
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4723886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintershine_xo/pseuds/wintershine_xo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about having no friends was that it gave you a lot of time to observe people. The way they acted around their friends, around their teachers, and the way they acted when they thought no one was around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_A shop sells bicycles and tricycles. In total there are 7 cycles and 19 wheels. Determine how many of each there are, if a bicycle has 2 wheels and a tricycle has 3._

Mark read the words on his quiz without really taking them in. He had a vague notion that the word problem could be solved with linear equations, but he’d skipped a fair amount of math classes over the past couple of weeks, so he really couldn’t be positive. Around him, the sounds of pencils frantically solving problems and papers rustling as students hurried to finish the quiz were starting to irritate him. To his right, Jackson was doodling on a corner of the quiz paper. Mark could see that Jackson had attempted some of the problems, but the majority of the page was blank, much like his own. Next to Jackson, Jin had only written his name at the top before laying his head on his desk and closing his eyes.

Two rows ahead and one to left, Park Jinyoung sat hunched over his paper, biting his lip in concentration. His pencil flew over the quiz, as if he didn’t even need to think before beginning to solve the problems. Mark watched him for a few moments before a sound to his right distracted him. Jin was standing up, though the bell had not yet rung, and was gathering his book bag. With a slight tilt of his head, he indicated for Mark and Jackson to follow him. Jackson stood up immediately, but Mark hesitated. He looked down at his quiz and the unanswered questions in front of him and thought he might be able to attempt at least a couple more. He looked back up at Jackson, who shrugged, and let out a short puff of breath before following suit and standing. He followed his friends to the door.

“Where do you think--?” Their math teacher began.

Jin boldly held up a hand, showing his five fingers, and began counting down, putting down one finger at a time. When his last finger was down, the bell rang.

“Class is over,” he said. He bowed his head in a feigned sign of respect and exited the classroom. Jackson and Mark hurried after him.

In the hallways, people went out of their way to avoid the three boys. Some of the more timid kids scurried around corners or ducked into classrooms, not wanting to be noticed, while others merely turned their backs and avoided eye contact while waiting for them to pass. Jackson, cocky bastard that he was, wore a permanent smirk on his face when they weren’t alone, and Mark knew it was because of the attention they received everywhere they went. Jin, on the other hand, looked nowhere except straight ahead, paying no mind to the students around him. Mark tended to keep his head down

It had been fun in middle school, Mark thought. It was fun to show the other kids that he wasn’t weak anymore. That he was someone they should have thought twice about messing with.

When he was younger, Mark had been kind of a scrawny kid, and quiet, too, so some of the bigger kids had pushed him around a bit. But then he met Jackson, and while the boy wasn’t exactly the strongest, he definitely had a mouth on him. He could out-swear anyone by the time they were eleven years old, and he was a lot tougher than he looked. Mark never could figure out how they became best friends, since they were so different, but he was grateful all the same.

When Jin was added to their class in 7th grade, it was obvious why he was transferred out of his old school—he quickly gained a reputation for being a bully. But he was assigned to be Jackson’s deskmate, and Jackson, given enough time, could befriend a mop if he tried hard enough (which he always did), and so really, it was just a matter of time before he wore Jin down.  

Thus, their trio was born: Jin, the automatic ringleader; Jackson, the loud-mouth; and Mark, the one who didn’t quite know how he’d ended up in a gang.

Jin—Seokjin, but he’d always been called Jin—wasn’t your typical steal-your-lunch-money, shove-kids-into-lockers bully. Not since he was about fourteen, anyway. He’d outgrown that behavior by the time he reached high school, but that didn’t mean he’d turned over a new leaf. Rather, his body language gave off an eternal don’t-fuck-with-me vibe, and everyone who was smart respected that. Even teachers had long since given up attempting to discipline him as long as he wasn’t disruptive, so he spent the majority of his time in school either sleeping or skipping class altogether.

This meant that by extension, Mark and Jackson did the same. Jackson didn’t seem to mind much—it wasn’t like he’d been planning to go to university anyway. His uncle owned an auto-repair shop that he would help out at after he left school. That there might be bigger and better things out there hadn’t really occurred to him ever since he’d quit fencing.

Mark, on the other hand... Mark used to get straight A’s. Science was his favorite; he’d even had thoughts of studying engineering in university. But his grades had been in a steady decline over the last couple of years. At this rate, he’d be lucky to get into a university at all, much less a top-tier school where the applicants were likely to be people like Park Jinyoung, who’d never missed a day of school in their lives and who had never made anything less than an A on any assignment they’d ever been given.

Being friends with Jin and Jackson had put Mark’s life on a trajectory it might otherwise have never taken. Without Jackson, he would have been the kid in class who never spoke unless he had to, who shuffled along behind the popular kids hoping someone would make the first move and befriend him.  But without Jin, Mark would have been, well….boring. He would have been the type who never made waves or fussed about anything, who never picked fights or who had fights picked with him. Jin, however, was the opposite. He was a bite-first alpha male who didn’t stand for anyone crossing him or his friends, which garnered for Mark a certain amount of respect. People didn’t fuck with Jin, and by extension, they didn’t fuck with Jackson and Mark.

Being friends with Jackson had made Mark visible. Being friends with Jin had made him feared.

* * *

_ “Yah, yah, yah!” Jinyoung scolded Mark. “You need to rewrite this conclusion! You have to include that the photons interfere with each other and act like waves or else we just wasted a week working on this! The whole point is show how light is both particles AND waves. And you need to tie it back to the competing theories of Newton and Huygens and talk about how even their ideas were derived from Aristotle.” _

_ “If you don’t like it, you do it then,” Mark grumbled, pulling the paper towards him and beginning to cross things out and rewrite. _

_ “I did the introduction and I described the procedure,” Jinyoung reminded him. _

_ “Yeah, and I did the research on Einstein and the photoelectric effect.” _

* * *

 

(In another time and place, they might have been friends.)

* * *

Class rankings were posted at the end of the quarter. Mark could practically smell the tension in the air as everyone waited for the bell to ring so they could rush into the hallway and see where they stood. Some, like Yerin and Jinah, were anxious to see if they had maybe, finally, ousted Jinyoung from the top spot. Others, like Jimin and Taehyung, were merely hoping they still fell somewhere in the top half.  Mark himself had no desire to see his own ranking. He was sure he’d be towards the bottom somewhere, right along with Jackson and Jin.

Sure enough, as soon as the bell rang, there was a mad dash out to the lobby. Jin, his face impassive, strolled by everyone without bothering to look for his name. Mark decided to wait for the crowd to disperse a little bit, and Jackson, being uninterested in the class rankings, followed Jin out the door. Mark would know where to find them later, if he wanted.

After stopping by his locker and a vending machine, Mark finally approached the rankings list. Number one, Park Jinyoung, as expected. Baek Yerin and Choi Youngjae followed. Jinah must be in hysterics, Mark thought, spotting her name at number five. His scanned down, skipping to the bottom half where he knew he’d find his name. Number one hundred, dead last, was Kim Seokjin. Ninety-nine: Wang Jackson. Ninety-eight, however, did not say Tuan Mark. Nor did ninety-seven.

He took out his phone and texted Jackson.

> _Congrats. 3 straight semesters you’ve stayed consistent at 99._

The reply came moments later:  _stfu. Jin’s 100?_

> _Yeah_ , Mark typed back.

_ And wht did u get? _

Mark read the text but didn’t reply right away. He didn’t know why he was hiding it—Jackson would either nag until he told or just see it when he walked into school the next day. As he stood there, he felt rather than heard someone’s presence behind him.

Jinyoung glanced at the list without looking at Mark.

“Fifty-four?” He asked, his quiet voice startling Mark. “That’s about twenty spots higher than last semester, isn’t it?”

“Twenty-two,” Mark corrected him, too surprised by the fact that the shorter boy had initiated conversation to remember that they weren’t really friends. That they never actually had been.

“Right. Congratulations.”

“Yeah.”

Jinyoung seemed to be waiting for Mark to say something else, but Mark’s mind was blank. The seconds stretched on and Mark could think of nothing. When nothing came out of Mark’s mouth for several more moments, Jinyoung let out a short puff of breath.

“Yeah,” he said softly, his lips turning up in the slightest smile. “See you around, Mark.”

* * *

_ Pure force of habit steered Mark to Jinyoung’s table at lunchtime. They’d spent almost all their spare time together working on their project for the last three and a half weeks, and now that it was over, Mark had quite forgotten that he and Jinyoung didn’t usually eat together. _

_ He grinned at Jinyoung as he sat down. “I snuck into class when Ms. Jang was out,” he said triumphantly. “She left her computer on.” _

_ Jinyoung, interested, looked up from the book he’d been reading. “What did you do?” He asked warily. _

_“I didn’t do anything,” Mark said, feigning offense. “I just wanted to see if she had graded our research project yet.”_

_ “Are you serious?” Jinyoung hissed. “If anyone had caught you snooping through a teacher’s computer do you know much trouble you’d be in?” _

_ “But they didn’t catch me. Besides… it turned out she has, in fact, graded our project, but if you’d rather not know—“ _

_ “What did we get?” Jinyoung asked immediately. _

_ “Mark-ah.” _

_Mark looked up when he heard Jin’s voice and frowned in surprise. “Oh, hey.”_

_“Aren’t you done with your project?”_

_“I… yeah, I was just—“_

_“Then aren’t you going to sit with me and Jackson?” The implication was clear: come now, or don’t come at all._

_Mark looked back at Jinyoung, his mouth dry as he tried to stutter an apology._

_Jinyoung smiled easily, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s fine, Mark. You should go with your friends. I have chemistry to study anyway,” he said, indicating his book._

* * *

They were yelling again.

It was kind of a common occurrence now—the same routine that circled every other week or so, and Mark had gotten surprisingly good at blocking it out. It was the same argument every time, more or less, and he was almost to the point of wishing they would just get a divorce already and spare everyone’s sanity.

After his uncle had died suddenly a few years ago, Mark’s aunt had remarried quickly. Not because she was in love or anything, though she would never admit that to Mark. The truth was, they wouldn’t have been able to support themselves alone, so she had gotten married after a few blind dates to a man who owned a dry cleaning shop. He wasn’t rich, but he made enough money to take care of them. When he wasn’t drinking away entire paychecks.

Words like stupid, pathetic, and good-for-nothing­ broke through the wall he was trying to build in his consciousness and Mark clenched his jaw.

“…tired of that little bastard lying around on his ass!”

Mark sighed and closed his eyes again. _If I had anywhere to go, believe me, I’d be there,_ he thought.  The more he thought about it—and he’d been thinking it for nearly a year now—the more convinced he became. He was going to get into a university, get a good job, and then take his aunt somewhere where she’d never have to rely on anyone ever again. He’d have a housekeeper and a gardener and they’d never have to listen to drunken angry rants or clean up the broken glass that had been heaved at walls.

But a rank of 54 wasn’t going to get him into university. Not into a good enough one.

* * *

“Fifty-four?” Jackson said loudly when he burst into the classroom, startling nearly everyone.

Mark rolled his eyes. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Is so. You’re trying to up your rank, aren’t you? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why do you care? Are you gonna help me study?”

“Of course not,” Jackson scoffed.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you. Anyway, I’m not skipping class anymore this week.”

“Suit yourself.”

Jackson pulled out his phone to send a text and Mark faced forward as the bell rang. He did his best to pay attention during the period, scribbling notes and definitely not getting distracted by Park Jinyoung and the way he scratched the back of his neck or ran his fingers through his hair.

Mark started when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

 _Take a picture._ It was from Jackson. Puzzled, Mark looked at the boy next to him and found his best friend with a smirk on his lips. Jackson typed another message and hit send. Mark’s phone vibrated a second later.

_It’ll last longer ;)_

Mark sent a glare towards Jackson and didn’t dignify him with a response, instead resolving to ignore both him and Jinyoung in favor of actually learning about polynomials or whatever the hell it was that they were studying this week.

Jackson, unfortunately had no plans of being ignored. After class, Jackson slung his arm around Mark’s neck (something of a feat, given how much taller Mark was), and guided him outside.

“Spill,” he said once they were out of earshot of the rest of their class.

Mark took out a pack of cigarettes and stuck one in his mouth. “Spill what?”

Jackson plucked the white stick from Mark’s lips and put it between his own, lighting it and taking a long drag before Mark could protest. “If you stared any harder at the nerd you would have developed x-ray vision and seen through his skull,” he said pointedly. “You like him or what? Don’t think that’s the first time I’ve caught you looking at him.”

“I was not staring,” Mark said sullenly.

“Yeah, okay,” Jackson agreed, smirking. 

* * *

_ “Jin-ah,” Jackson whined. “We always hang out at my place! Let’s go to your house for a change!” _

_ Jin shook his head. “You can’t.” _

_ “Why noooot?” _

_ “You just can’t,” he snapped. _

_ “Are you secretly rich?” Jackson asked. “You don’t want to bring us over because you don’t want us to mooch off you?” _

_ Mark snorted. “If he was rich he could afford to hang out with someone way cooler than you.” _

_ Jackson threw a pillow at Mark’s head. “You hang out with me,” he pointed out. _

_“Yeah, but I’m not rich either.”_

* * *

Jinyoung had always known being ranked first in class would put kind of a target on his back. The way people would openly glare at him, whisper not-so-quietly behind his back about being teacher’s pet, tripping him in hallways, or how he’d come back to his desk to find all his pens had been taken, or pages ripped from his notebook.

It used to really get to him, when he was younger. All he wanted was to fit in and make friends, to not care so much about his grades, but his parents would accept nothing less than perfection from him, and saw to it that everything that could be seen as a distraction from his studies was removed from his life. He learned how to deal, eventually, and realized that the other kids only treated him that way because they were jealous. As if it had come so easily to him.

Mark had been the first person who made Jinyoung think he could be normal. For that brief, shining period, it had been like having a friend. And then just like that, it was gone. One word from Jin and Mark had abandoned him, leaving Jinyoung to remember why it was that he had stopped trying to make friends long ago. Mark went back to the self he was when he wasn’t with Jinyoung—the self-absorbed, cocky bully who intimidated his classmates and sometimes even his teachers.

The thing about having no friends, Jinyoung thought bitterly, was that it gave you a lot of time to observe people. The way they acted around their friends, around their teachers, and the way they acted when they thought no one was around. Because when Mark was around his friends, he was just like them. Rude and uncaring, as if the school revolved around them. But Jinyoung knew that deep down, Mark was different. He had seen it during those three weeks they’d worked together, and he saw it sometimes now in short flashes, when Mark would apologize to someone he bumped into in the hallway, or when he’d pick up a pen someone else had dropped, or when he would catch himself taking notes in class and then glance towards Jin and Jackson, who inevitably would be napping or spacing out, as if worried they’d notice he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

Jinyoung saw these things in Mark, even if he didn’t see them in himself, but he knew, probably better than anyone else, that Mark was lost to Newton’s first law:

An object in motion will stay in motion, unless acted on by an external force.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

One day after gym class, Mark was assigned by Mr. Han to assist Jinyoung with making sure all the balls and jump ropes had been put away. Jackson snickered at his friend's misfortune and ducked as Mark aimed a volleyball at his head, cackling loudly as he joined Jin on his way out the door.

"You don't have to stay," Jinyoung offered. "I can do this alone."

Mark raised an eyebrow, genuinely confused. Was Jinyoung trying to avoid being alone with him?  "That's okay," he replied. "I'll help. Unless you want me to go."

"No," Jinyoung said quickly, shaking his head. "I just thought, you know. You'd want to go hang out with your friends."

"I think they'll be able to get along fine without me for one lunch period. Come on, let's take all this stuff to the storage shed. It'll only take a couple of trips."

It was a typical lunchtime occurrence for Mark and his friends to spend their lunchtime smoking behind the gym, sometimes talking and sometimes not, but usually doing their best to stay out of the path of any teachers who might walk by. Not because they cared much about the ensuing detention--it was just more of an inconvenience than anything else.

Mark was accompanying Jinyoung on one last trip to the shed when he heard Jackson's unmistakable loud laugh. Both boys turned toward the noise to see Jackson, his face lit up with amusement as Jin showed him that he could blow smoke rings.

"Mark! Do you see this shit?" Jackson crowed. "Did you know he could do that?"

Mark started to say something, a half smile on his face, but was cut off by the sound of Mr. Han yelling at them for smoking on school grounds. He'd appeared out of nowhere, and Mark and his friends, being used to running for lives, booked it in an attempt to avoid the month's detention or worse that was surely in store for them. Jinyoung started to follow, but had only taken a few steps when he lost his footing and came face to face with the ground. Confused, he looked up to see what he’d tripped on and realized that Jin had stuck his foot out on purpose and then kept running, sacrificing Jinyoung.  

Mark looked back to see where Jinyoung was and looked like he wanted to double back, but Jackson grabbed his wrist and dragged him along, around the corner and out of sight of the angry teacher.

Jinyoung scrambled to his feet, but Mr. Han was close enough now to see his face.

“Stop right there, Park Jinyoung!”  

* * *

“Mark, you would have gotten suspended. Jackson did you a favor.”

As they walked, Mark kicked at a stone, annoyed that Jin was right. He’d left Jinyoung to take the fall for all of them, and truthfully, he was relieved not to have to go home and confess that he was being suspended for smoking.

“It’s probably the first time he’s ever been sent to the office for something other than having a note to deliver to another teacher,” Jackson said, rolling his eyes. “Nerd’s never been punished for anything. He’ll get like two weeks of detention, tops.”

That didn’t mean Mark had to feel good about it.

The next week, in some combination of shame and guilt, Mark avoided Jinyoung. It would be better for both of them, he reasoned, if he just stayed away. No need to pretend like they were friends, or were ever going to be. Jinyoung could stay out of trouble, and Mark could avoid the probing questions from his friends about why he suddenly seemed to have a soft spot for this boy he had no reason to like.

* * *

Jinyoung was starting to miss being invisible.

It started off not so bad. The usual school-kid stuff where he’d get bumped into on purpose or cut in front of in line. Jin and Jackson would help themselves to food off his tray. A casual observer might even mistake it for a sign of closeness. It wasn’t like anyone was shoving him into lockers or trying to stick his head in a toilet. Mark would follow the other two, neither joining in on picking on him nor stopping them from doing so. Every so often Jinyoung would catch his eye and swear that Mark seemed apologetic, or at least uncomfortable with the way his friends were treating him. But he never did or said anything about it, and Jinyoung, having no one else to stand up for him, was forced to play along, to act like it didn’t bother him.

When things got a bit more vicious, Jinyoung wondered what had changed. It wasn’t just Jin and Jackson anymore. Suddenly it seemed like he was fair game, like he was the butt of some cruel joke or elaborate scheme to make him miserable. And it was working. He dreaded getting up every morning, he dreaded walking into school, he dreaded the bell at the end of each class, never knowing what was in store for him even in the 5 minute passing periods.

People said rude things about him right in front of him, as if he wasn’t there at all. He often found trash or drinks spilled across his desk. He could no longer leave any of his belongings unattended, for fear they might end up stuffed in a toilet or thrown in a trashcan, or just disappear completely.

Having no friends had never been ideal, but having everyone actively hate him was much worse.

* * *

As Mark walked into math class some days later, he found Jinyoung standing in front of the row of lockers that lined the back wall looking frustrated and nearly in tears. As the bell rang and Mark took his seat, Jinyoung looked pleadingly around the room, embarrassed at how red he probably was and yet not caring at this point. He just needed someone to take pity on him. No one did. Some people seemed genuine in not understanding why he was upset, but Mark could see others pretending to stifle their laughter. Mark looked over at Jackson, who shrugged, and then at Jin, who met Mark's gaze and lazily twitched his lips into a half smirk.

Their teacher called for class to begin, and asked Jinyoung to sit down. Jinyoung hesitated for a moment but ultimately did as he was told, hanging his head as he shuffled to his place.

“Since you’re the last one to be seated, Jinyoung, why don’t you start class off for us today by telling us the answer to the first question from your assignment that’s due today?”

Some fireworks are fired vertically into the air from the ground at an initial velocity of 80 feet per second. Find the highest point reached by the projectile just as it explodes.

Mark looked down at his own completed assignment, fairly confident that he’d answered most of the questions correctly. That meant it must’ve been a breeze for Jinyoung. He could probably have done it with his eyes closed. But when Mark glanced over at the boy, he noticed that Jinyoung was squeezing his hands into fists.

“Jinyoung?” The teacher prompted.

“I…. don’t know,” Jinyoung finally stated.

“Where is your assignment, Park Jinyoung?”

“I don’t have it.”

“Why not?”

“I just… don’t.”

“You just don’t,” the teacher repeated. “Did you not feel it was worth your time to complete an assignment that is worth fifteen percent of your grade this quarter?”

“No.”

“No? Then what are you doing in my class, if all of this is a waste?”

“No, I didn’t mean-- I wasn’t--”

“Enough, Park Jinyoung. I don’t want to hear an excuse. If you can’t be bothered to complete the assigned work, then there’s no reason for you to be here. Leave the classroom, please. Everyone else, clear your desks. You can thank Jinyoung later for this pop quiz.”

Mark bit his lip, wanting to say something. Jinyoung stood up slowly, taking his bag. He looked a little lost. He’d never been kicked out of a class before; he probably had no idea what to do. His eyes met Mark’s for a second but he looked away quickly. Mark noticed that they were red-rimmed and shiny--tears weren’t yet falling, but it looked like it could happen any second. Mark hoped he made it far from the classroom before it did. The last thing he needed right now was to be seen crying because of a missed homework assignment.

“What was that about?” Mark asked when he and his friends made it out of earshot from the classroom.

Jackson glanced over at Jin, who ignored the question.

“Seriously,” Mark persisted when no one spoke.

“Someone switched his lock with a new one as a joke,” Jackson finally said. “You know, so his combination didn’t work.”

Mark frowned. “Why? No one’s ever messed with him this bad before.”

Jackson shrugged. “He’s an easy target these days.”

“Only because you two started it,” Mark retorted, unable to bite his tongue.

Jin turned at this and raised an eyebrow in Mark’s direction. “Why do you care so much about what happens to him? First the thing after gym class and now this. Do you…?”

“Do I what?” Mark’s heart seemed to freeze in chest; he wondered if he’d kept the panic that he felt from his voice and his face. _He doesn’t know_ , Mark thought. How could he know something Mark wasn’t even sure of himself?

Jin just stared at him for a moment. “Nothing.”

In the lunch room, Jinyoung was nowhere to be found, and Mark didn’t know whether to think that was for the best or not.

“You could put a stop this, you know,” he muttered, loud enough for Jin to hear though he dared not look up to meet the gaze that he was sure was fixed on him. “People would stop if you told them to.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I’m your friend,” Mark replied, finally looking up. “And I’m asking you to.”

“Careful, Mark,” Jin said, his tone casual. “I might start thinking you actually like him. Not just that you feel sorry for him. But that you like him. Which is fine with me, but the rest of the school might not be so open minded about it.”

Mark kept quiet after that.

* * *

After school, Mark headed to the physics lab, where he knew Jinyoung sometimes studied because it had fewer people than even the library.

Sure enough, the boy sat at a large table alone, several books and papers scattered in front of him. He couldn’t even see Jinyoung’s face, but the way he was hunched over told Mark everything he needed to know how his mood.

“Hey,” Mark said hesitantly.

Startled, Jinyoung jolted, fear flashing across his face as he turned to see who was speaking. He started to gather his belongings, but slowed when he realized it was Mark. Still, he kept packing, his eyes glancing to the door every few seconds, as if expecting to be ambushed. Which, Mark reflected, wasn’t too far off from what had probably already happened to him.

“It’s okay,” Mark tried. “I’m not…” He didn’t really know how to finish that sentence. Going to hurt you? He’d already done that, twice, by not standing up for him when he knew he could have. Should have. “I just wanted to give you this.”

He pulled a metal lock from his pocket and held it out for Jinyoung, who eyed it warily.

“Is that--?”

“It’s yours,” Mark assured him. “You might want to get rid of it anyway, though, since someone apparently knows the combination... And this,” he pulled a sticky note from his pocket as well, “is the combination to the one that’s on your locker. Here.”

Jinyoung finally took both objects, looking from his hand to Mark, not believing it. “How did you get these?”

“I asked around. It’s not a big deal.”

“Right,” Jinyoung snorted. “Must be nice.” He shoved the lock and the note into his bag with the rest of his things and made to move past Mark.

“What?” Mark asked. He was taken aback by Jinyoung’s sudden hostility. “What do you mean?” He grabbed Jinyoung’s forearm to stop him from leaving.

“It must be nice,” Jinyoung spat, “to just ask for things and have them be done, just because you’re you. Because you’re Mark Tuan, because you’re friends with them. It must be nice to have the whole school kissing your ass all the time. Let go of me.”

Mark let him go.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Other than class, Mark didn’t see or speak to Jinyoung for the rest of the week, and he took it as a sign that he had been right in thinking that it would be better for both of them if he just stayed away from Jinyoung.

That is, until he walked into the bathroom and found Jinyoung bleeding on the floor, surrounded by four guys from another class. He walked in just as one of them aimed a shallow kick at Jinyoung’s midsection.

“Do we have a deal, nerd?”

“What’s this about, Chang Min?” Mark asked.

The boys turned. Chang Min grinned a bit. “Jinyoung and I were just working out a friendly little tutoring arrangement, weren’t we?”

Mark’s eyes narrowed. “Really.”

“You see, I’m having a little trouble in chemistry, and Min Ki and Junghwan are struggling with math lately. And poor Hyo Shin just can’t seem to get the hang of economics. So Jinyoungie has agreed to help us.”

“By doing all your assignments for you,” Mark guessed.

“He’s a saint, truly.”

Mark pushed his way past Chang Min and held his hand out. “Get up, Jinyoung,” he said, pulling the boy to his feet. Then he turned back and shoved Chang Min back a few feet. “Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re all gonna walk out of here and I’m going to forget I saw this. And you’re going to leave him alone. Got it?”

“Or what?” Chang Min challenged him but Mark could see that he was already uncertain.

“Or you’ll have me to answer to.”

He stared all four boys down, aware that even he wouldn’t be able to take them on his own, but thankfully they didn’t call his bluff. No one was stupid enough to think that messing with Mark wouldn’t have consequences with Jin, and everyone knew that Jin’s bad side was not somewhere you wanted to be.

When they left the bathroom, Mark took a closer look at Jinyoung. “Are you okay?” He had a bruise forming along his jawline, and there was blood seeping from the corner of his mouth.

“I’m fine, Mark.”

“You… don’t look very fine.”

Jinyoung stayed quiet, walking over to the sink and splashing some water on his face. He wiped the blood that was starting to clot on his lip so that the cut there was barely noticeable. There was nothing he could do about the bruise. He’d just have to hurry to his room and hope his mother didn’t look too closely.

“I don’t get you,” he said finally.

“Me?”

“You act like to want to be friends, but you let Jin treat me like shit. Then you go out of your way to get my lock back, but you ignore me for a week after. Then you bust in here like a white knight and rescue me. I don’t know how to deal with this. What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing, I just… You don’t deserve this.”

“No one deserves this, but I’m hardly the only one who gets picked on at this school. What’s so different about me? Why are you only doing this for me?”

“I don’t really know,” Mark admitted. He couldn’t think of anything else to say. What else could he say without totally freaking Jinyoung out? That he was harboring feelings that at this point could no longer be passed off as pity or guilt? That all the bullying Jinyoung was getting was a power play from Jin to show Mark what would happen if he went against him?

“Fine.” Jinyoung sighed.

“Fine? That’s it?”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung said. “That’s it. I’m tired, and I want to go home. I have about three and a half hours worth of homework to do, and that’s just my own.”

“You’re not doing Chang Min’s,” Mark protested.

“What are you, my bodyguard now? You can’t walk around behind me all day long. It’ll be easier if I just do it.”

“I’m serious,” Mark told him. “Don’t. I’ll handle him. He’s not gonna bother you about it again.”

“And are you going to take responsibility for it if he does?”

“Yeah. I will.”

Afterwards, Mark insisted on walking Jinyoung home, in case Chang Min had any ideas on jumping him when he thought Mark wasn’t around.

“You didn’t have to do this,” Jinyoung said as they approached his home.

“I wanted to.”

“Right. Well, thanks, I guess. And for earlier too. I’d invite you in, but my parents are kind of…”

“I remember,” Mark said. “We could just tell them we’re working on a project again.” He grinned at Jinyoung, only half joking.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mark.”

* * *

Mark took to walking home with Jinyoung every afternoon from then on. He wasn’t exactly hiding it from Jin and Jackson, but he wasn’t being forthcoming with the information, either. Still, he wondered how long it would be before it got around to them.

The thing was, the more time he spent with Jinyoung, the less he cared about what Jin would think of it.

Jinyoung was smart, obviously. He read so many books he seemed to just be a well of knowledge about any given subject. He was witty, too. He could make Mark burst out laughing, which was no easy feat given how quiet and introverted Mark usually was. He was fun, when his guard was down--when he wasn’t constantly looking over his shoulder to see if someone was going to corner him. He talked with Mark about his plans for the future, how his parents had been so “generous” as to allow him to pick any course of study he wanted for university as long as it was approved by them and would lead him to becoming a doctor or lawyer or professor.

“The screwed up thing is that they don’t even see it,” Jinyoung said. “They did the same thing to my sister, and she ended up running away. She hasn’t been home in three years.”

“Does she ever call?” Mark asked.

“She texts me, sometimes,” Jinyoung replied. “It’s funny because they tried to force her into medical school so she could become a successful doctor and hopefully marry one and make lots of money.”

“What’s so funny about that?”

“Well, she didn’t actually finish medical school, so she ended up working as a receptionist in a doctor’s office, and now she’s engaged to a rich doctor anyway. So in a way, my parents got what they wanted for her, but they might not ever even know because she’ll never come home. She resents them so much.”

“How come you don’t?” Mark asked. “Don’t you feel… I don’t know, trapped?”

Jinyoung nodded. “In some ways I do. I hate that they never let me play sports or do anything that wasn’t academic. I hated them and blamed them for a long time for never letting me make any real friends. But now… High school’s almost over, you know? I won’t have to live at home when I go to university. I can just study on my own time, find a hobby, meet people. It’s worth becoming a doctor for my parents if I can have that.”

“I think I get that.”

They walked on in silence a few more steps until Mark suddenly paused. “Hey,” he said. “Do you, like, have to go straight home after school?”

“Well,” Jinyoung said slowly. “I could always tell my parents I was studying at school or meeting with a teacher. So, not necessarily.”

“Okay. Good. Then,” Mark took a deep breath. He seemed to be gathering his courage. “Do you want to, um, hang out for awhile?”

“Hang out? Like, just…”

“Like we could go to the mall, or go get ice cream, or whatever. It doesn’t really matter. I just want to spend-- I want to keep hanging out with you.”

Jinyoung hesitated. “I don’t…”

“We don’t have to,” Mark said quickly. “I just thought, you know, if you wanted to, ‘cause I don’t really have anything else to do today, and--”

“No, I want to,” Jinyoung interrupted. “Ice cream sounds good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re buying, though.” Jinyoung grinned and kept walking.

Mark, indeed, bought everything, asking what toppings Jinyoung wanted and making sure there were enough napkins, and going back to the counter to order drinks, and then a giant chocolate chip cookie for them to share.

“You’re going to go into a sugar coma,” Jinyoung said, marveling at everything in front of them. “This has ‘diabetic shock’ written all over it.”

“Nah,” Mark replied, helping himself to a spoonful of Jinyoung’s mint chocolate ice cream. “What’s the point of being young if I can’t even joy food like this while I can?” He picked up Jinyoung’s spoon and scooped some ice cream for him. “Say ‘ah.’”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes and took the spoon from Mark, not allowing the other to feed it to him. Mark pouted for a second but his expression darkened as he glanced over Jinyoung’s shoulder. The four boys from the bathroom had walked in. Chang Min spotted Mark instantly and walked up to them with a delighted smirk on his face.

“What do we have here? You dating your bodyguard now, Jinyoung?”

Mark stood up quickly. “Get out of here, Chang Min.”

Chang Min took a step closer to Mark. “Why don’t you just try to make me?”

Mark shoved him and looked like he was going to punch him, but Jinyoung grabbed his arm. “Not here,” he hissed.

By this time the manager of the ice cream parlor had seen what was going on and rushed over to shoo them all out of the building, muttering about ‘damn high school kids’ and telling them to take it outside. Once they were out, they stepped into an alley behind the building, and Mark wasted no time in taking a swing right at Chang Min.

“Mark!” Jinyoung yelled. “Don’t!” He tried to step in front of Mark, but the other three boys held him back. Struggling was no use.

Chang Min had been prepared for the swing aimed at his face, but not for the one that came immediately after that landed on his stomach. His breath was knocked out of him and he doubled over. Mark took the opportunity to punch him in the face, and this time it wasn’t dodged. Chang Min lost his balance from the force of the hit and fell to the ground.

“Did you think I forgot how to fight just because you haven’t seen me do it in awhile?” Mark asked. He kicked Chang Min in the ribs, just hard enough to elicit a groan of pain from the boy. “That was stupid of you. I told you what would happen if you didn’t leave him alone. But, I don’t mind reminding you. Hope I painted a clear enough picture for you.”

Mark turned to see that Min Ki and the others had already let go of Jinyoung. None of them made a move, except Jinyoung who spun on his heel without a word to Mark.

He walked quickly down the street, saying nothing, until finally Mark grabbed his arm.

“Hey. What’s with you?”

Jinyoung shook Mark off. “Nothing. I’m going home.”

“Wait. You’re not… are you mad at me?”

Now Jinyoung stopped. “Yes! I’m mad at you!”

“But why? I did that for you!”

“I know you did! But I didn’t ask for that, Mark. I didn’t ask for you to walk me home every day, or for everyone at school to make fun of me for needing you to protect me, or to be asked twice a week if I’m paying you back for it in blowjobs. I didn’t ask for you to buy me food or for you to go getting into fights for me. Okay? So just stop. I can't deal with this.”

“They really ask you that?”

“Of course that’s the part you focus on,” Jinyoung muttered, starting to walk away again.

Mark followed. “Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t get into fights, anymore, will that help?”

“No,” Jinyoung said. “It’s too late now, everyone already thinks I’m either doing all your homework for you or sucking your dick. I told you, you can’t be with me all the time; you shouldn’t be surprised that people talk shit when you’re not around. You need to just… stay away from me if you’re not--if you don’t--”

“If what?”

“If you don’t feel-- because I can’t deal with it, I can’t deal with not knowing what it means to you, okay? Because I know how I feel, and what I want it to mean, but with you I can’t tell! I never know if it’s the same for you, or if you just feel sorry for me, or you’re just trying to be nice. So, can we just stop this now? Please?”

“You think all of this was because I feel sorry for you?”

“Isn’t it?” Jinyoung challenged. “Because I’m weak, I’m the school punching bag, because you got me in trouble?”

“Jesus, that’s not why!”

“Then why?” Jinyoung asked. “What’s the point of all of this?”

“Because I like you!” Mark yelled. “Since… I don’t even know when, okay? Yes, I feel bad about what happened, and I hate how everyone treats you, but before any of that, it’s because I like you.”

Jinyoung’s heart seemed to stop in his chest. “You.. what?”

And then Mark was kissing him. It was... unexpected, though not altogether unwelcome. And it was terrifying and exhilarating and he didn’t even have time to think about how he never imagined that his first kiss would be in the middle of a fight, out on the street where anyone could see them before it was over and Mark was stepping back, looking slightly scared himself.

“I like you,” Mark repeated, quieter this time, testing how the words felt on his tongue. He’d said them before, to girls through the years, but always as a means to an end. Never with this much feeling behind them. Never to a boy.

Jinyoung cracked a smile. “Are you seriously… like, confessing to me right now?”

“Shit,” Mark mumbled. “No. I mean… Yeah, I guess. Is that funny? Are you laughing at me? Because this is so incredibly beyond the realm of funny. I’m actually kind of freaking out right now, if you can’t tell.”

“I’m not laughing at you! I just, never thought this would happen. Anyway. Don’t freak out, Mark. You know I like--”

“Don’t,” Mark interrupted. “Don’t say it.”

“Why?” Jinyoung asked, confused.

“Because you and I… we can’t. It can’t happen. We can’t happen. I shouldn’t have said anything. You need to forget about it.”

“Why?” Jinyoung asked again. “Why can’t we-- why can’t this happen? Because of your friends? Are you afraid of what they’d say?” Mark stayed quiet. “Is it… is it because I’m a boy?”

“Yes,” Mark said, and a look of hurt flashed through Jinyoung’s eyes. “No, that’s not what I meant. I mean, it is because of my friends, but it’s not that you’re a boy. They don’t care about that. It’s this… I don’t know. It’s this thing with Jin.”

“Does he like you too or something?”

“No. He just… already made it pretty clear what he would do if I… got involved with you. He has this… complex, I guess. About being abandoned. Since his mom left him with his shithole of a dad.”

“Still,” Jinyoung said. “He doesn’t own you, Mark. You don’t always have to be what they want you to be.”

Mark sighed. “You don’t understand, Jinyoung. This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Then help me to,” Jinyoung pressed. “You don’t get to just kiss me, and tell me you like me, and then walk away like it was nothing. Like I’m nothing to you.”

“Look. It’s not that simple. I like you… a lot, actually, more than I even thought I did, but Jin… I know he’s just a bully to you, but he’s my friend. I’m sorry if you can’t accept that.”

Jinyoung scoffed. “So that’s it, then?” Mark shrugged. “Do you not see what he’s doing to you? He’s manipulating you, Mark. He opened up to you about his crappy family, made you feel like you were close to him, and then he uses that to keep you feeling like you can’t ever leave him. Are you really going to spend your whole life never having any meaningful relationships because you’re afraid of what Jin will do?”

“I’m not afraid of him. I’m worried about him.”

“But it boils down to the same thing. It’s going to be just like 7th grade, isn’t it? He’s gonna snap his fingers, and you’ll go to him, because that’s what you do. And that just leaves me.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

Mark saw neither Jinyoung nor his friends for the remainder of the weekend. He spent a lot of time thinking about what Jinyoung had said to him. Some of it made sense, but at the same time, Mark couldn’t bring himself to believe that Jin would ever stand in the way of something--someone--Mark truly wanted.

And by Monday morning, what he was sure of more than ever, was that he wanted Park Jinyoung.

“We need to talk,” he said to Jin as he sat down at his desk.

Jin nodded. “After school. Behind the gym.”

Mark blinked, slightly surprised. He’d been prepared to have to argue about it or drag Jin somewhere so they could talk, but he’d agreed so easily. (In hindsight, Mark would later think, he should have known then that something was up.)

At lunchtime, Jinyoung was sitting alone at a table, books in front of him as usual. Mark didn’t join him, but he dropped a note on the table as he passed by.

 _Ice cream place after school_ , he had scrawled out. _Let’s talk._

Jinyoung read the note and looked up, seeking out Mark, but he was already seated at his usual place beside Jackson, his back to Jinyoung. Instead, Jinyoung accidentally made eye contact with Jin, who smiled blandly, unnerving Jinyoung. It was funny, Jinyoung thought, how Jin rarely if ever laid a hand on anyone himself, yet was the most feared person in school. That dangerous smile on his face told Jinyoung exactly why.

After school, Mark got held up by his science teacher, who wanted to congratulate him on pulling his grade up so much, and then by making it back to his locker and searching for a book only to realize he’d left it in another classroom, so he had to double back for it. He knew Jin would be waiting for him, so he broke into a light jog once he got outside.

He rounded the corner to the building of the gym and stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw.

Jackson, teeth gritted and brow furrowed, held Jinyoung’s arms behind his his back. They were close to the same height, but even as Jinyoung struggled, Mark knew he’d be no match for Jackson’s strength. Jinyoung’s eye was already purpling and would probably swell shut soon. His shirt was untucked and there were grass stains on his pants, as if he’d been shoved to the ground already. Jin was there too, his back to Mark, but even as Mark watched, frozen in horror, Jin swung his fist straight into Jinyoung’s abdomen. Jinyoung let out a groan and his breath was knocked out of him. He wanted to double over, but Jackson’s hold forced him to stay upright.

“Jin, what the _fuck_?” Mark yelled, starting towards them.

Jin whirled around at the sound of Mark’s voice and shoved him, hard. Mark, not expecting it, stumbled backwards and tripped over a stray rock, landing hard on the ground. Jin turned around and swung at Jinyoung again, this time landing on his face, and his nose began bleeding immediately.

Jinyoung looked to Mark, eyes pleading. “Mark…”

Mark scrambled up from the ground and went up to Jin and wrenched his arm away from taking another swing. “What the fuck are you doing? Jackson, let go of him!”

“Did you think I didn’t know, Mark?” Jin asked. “Tell the truth.”

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb. I told you what would happen, didn’t I? I warned you that people might not be so open-minded as I am.”

“Jin, what are you--” Jin pulled out his phone and unlocked it, showing a photo on his camera roll to Mark. When Mark saw it, he paled. “How did you--?”

“You were out in public, for Christ’s sake,” Jin said. “You weren’t even a block away from where you left Chang Min and the others, and you thought kissing him, in broad daylight, in the middle of the sidewalk, was a good idea?”

“Who else has this?” Mark asked quietly.

“No one,” Jin replied. “I made him delete it from his phone once he sent it to me. But, this is what you wanted to talk about, right? And what did you think? That people would just accept you like any other couple?

“I didn’t-- no one else has to know,” Mark said his eyes darting from Jin to where Jackson held Jinyoung. It was probably unnecessary; Jinyoung was no longer struggling.

“Chang Min already knows,” Jin said. “But I’ll deal with him, the same way I’m dealing with this. No one else is gonna know, because this is over. Now.”

“Jin, don’t. Just let him go.”

“Leave!” He barked. “Or I’ll post it myself.”

“Wait, Jin--” Jackson spoke now.

“Shut up,” Jin snapped. “Get out of here, Mark. Last chance.”

Mark stood, staring at Jin, unable to look at Jinyoung anymore. This wasn’t supposed to happen, none of this. He felt like his brain had slowed down, stopping his body from making anymore movements other than the hesitant step he took backwards. Words formed in his throat and died--he could think of nothing that would save the situation. Jin shoved him once more and Mark saw his mouth moving but the words didn’t register, all he knew was his feet were carrying him backwards, away from Jinyoung. But that wasn’t right, he thought, or tried to think--he should help, should do something, because this was his fault. He had asked Jinyoung out, had confessed his feelings, and kissed him, and now this was happening and Mark was running away, like a coward. Like the worst kind of person, but Jin’s threat--that he would tell people (no, that wasn’t right; Jin rarely did his own dirty work. He’d let Chang Min spread the rumor) --had scared him. Bad enough that as he turned the corner and heard, very distinctly, Jinyoung yelling for him, he blocked his ears and kept going.

* * *

Jinyoung was absent from school the next day.

Mark watched the empty spot where he should have sat, blood pounding in his ears. He hadn’t slept all night, guilt weighing heavily on him to the point that all he could do was play in his head over and over again the things he’d done wrong.

As the bell was ringing for class to begin, Mark decided he couldn’t stand it. He got up and walked out, ignoring his teacher completely.

He was halfway down the hallway when he heard footsteps behind him. Mark didn’t look back, knowing who it was. He kept walking straight through the hallway and right out the door, all the way off school grounds to a nearby park.

Mark didn’t say anything, he just sat down on the bench--the one he and Jin and Jackson had sat at countless times when they were skipping class, or hanging out after school. It was the place they came to where they had no worries, where they talked about things they wouldn’t normally talk about, like Mark not wanting his aunt to get married right away, or Jin wishing he knew where his mother was so he could find her, or Jackson deciding to quit fencing not because he didn’t think he was good enough, but because the pressure from his father was getting to him. It was here that the boys had implicitly agreed they could talk without fear of ridicule; what was said here stayed here and so it was here Mark knew he would get the truth.

“It was for you,” Jin said eventually. “I know you don’t--”

“No,” Mark said, closing his eyes. He felt tired. Exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally. “That… what you did… that wasn’t for me. If you knew how I felt--”

“I’ve known for ages, Markie.”

“Don’t call me that. Not now.”

Jin pursed his lips. “Fine. Just let me explain.”

“I don’t want to hear your explanation, honestly,” Mark said, still refusing to look towards Jin. “That was a shitty thing to do to me, if you knew I felt, and it was ten times worse what you did to Jinyoung. He’s not-- he’s not like us. He can’t fight, he can’t defend himself, he doesn’t have anyone else to watch his back. If you had a problem with me liking a guy, you should have brought it up with me. It wasn’t his fault, and you know it. I went after him, I kissed him, so why? Why would you punish him for it?”

“Because if I couldn’t get you to stay away from him, then I’d get him to stay away from you.”

The tension between them was palpable. Mark’s chest tightened at Jin’s words.

“And,” Jin continued, “it’s really not because he’s a guy. I mean, I knew that you were insecure about it so I used it against you, but that wasn’t… that wasn’t really the thing that got me.”

“Then what?”

“I just… you’ve been distant this year.” Mark stayed quiet. “I know you’re trying to go to university next year.”

“And?” Mark asked defensively. “Am I supposed to feel guilty about that?”

Jin shook his head. “I could feel you pulling away from me and Jackson. For awhile now, and it just… seemed like you thought you could do better than us. Than me. You’re going off to university and will probably become a famous architect or something, and I’ll be here working part time jobs trying to figure out a way to earn a living. And I didn’t know-- I couldn’t handle feeling like I was losing my best friend. It’s fucked up, okay? I know that. _I’m_ fucked up. But you know that.”

Mark nodded. “Yeah, I do. But that was stupid, Jin. This… you’ve done a lot of shit since I’ve known you, but not like this. Don’t worry about losing me because that’s already done. Do whatever you want. Post the picture, tell everyone, I don’t care. Nothing can be as bad as feeling like this. I’m done with this. I’m done with you.”

He barely knew where his feet were taking him as he walked away, but in retrospect he shouldn’t have been surprised that he ended up on Jinyoung’s street. He knew he had to apologize, to beg Jinyoung to forgive him, but he didn’t even know if he could face him. Did he even deserve to ask for Jinyoung’s forgiveness? What had he ever done besides hide and look the other way when he should have been helping him?

Still, he had to try, right?

He knocked on the door to Jinyoung’s house, unsurprised when no one answered right away. His father was a surgeon and his mother an emergency room nurse, so they would both be at work. He waited at the doorstep a few moments, thinking Jinyoung might be asleep or resting, or--his stomach clenched--unable to get up to answer the door. However, as he finished the thought, the door opened and Jinyoung was there, standing before him.

Mark barely got a good look at him before the door was slamming shut in his face.

“Jinyoung-ah!” Mark banged on the door again. “Open the door, please! I want to apologize, okay? Let me explain!”

The door opened again and Mark was able to get a clear look at Jinyoung. His face was badly bruised and Mark had been right in thinking Jinyoung’s eye would be swollen shut. He was standing stiffly, as if his whole torso was wrapped up tightly.

“Explain?” Jinyoung hissed. “Explain what? You want to come in and explain to my parents why they had to take me to the hospital last night to find two fractured ribs and bruises all over me? You want to explain to me why you _ran away_ and let your friends do this to me?”

“Jinyoung I swear to God, I didn’t--I had no idea he would do that, you have to believe me.”

“So what?” Jinyoung asked, emotionless.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Mark whispered, reaching out to touch his face.

Jinyoung swatted his hand. “Don’t,” he said, his voice low, “touch me. You don’t get to touch me, ever again. Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Mark. Not for this.”

“I know I should have done something--”

“Then why didn’t you?” Jinyoung yelled. “He’s supposed to be your best friend, you know what he’s like! You knew he’d do something about it eventually!”

“But I didn’t know he would go that far! His problem is with me, I didn’t expect him to take it out on you!”

“And even when you saw it, you didn’t do a single thing, Mark!” Jinyoung shoved Mark in the chest, hard enough to force Mark to take a step back. Jinyoung was practically shaking with anger and yet the only thing Mark wanted was to hold him. “You just _stood there_. You might as well have joined in with him, at least then I wouldn’t have been wondering when you were going to do something about it.”

“No, Jinyoung--don’t--I would never--”

“You would never hurt me, right? Is that really how you were going to finish that sentence? Do you realize how relieved I was to see you? I thought, thank God, Mark won’t let this happen. I waited for you to step in and you wouldn’t even look at me! Why? Because you were afraid he was gonna out you to the school? You're such a piece of shit. I can't believe I ever liked you.”

“I’m sorry,” Mark said, his throat tight. His eyes welled up but he didn’t try to stop tears from coming out.

“ _Don’t say you’re sorry!_ ” Jinyoung yelled again. “It doesn’t mean anything, they’re just words to you! Jesus, Mark, I yelled for you to come back, thinking you’d help me, or go find a teacher, or anything. I thought you cared about me!”

“I do, Jinyoung, please. I do--it’s my fault, I know it’s my fault, I was just-- I got scared. You don’t know Jin like I do, you don’t know what he’s…” His words died at the expression on Jinyoung’s face. It was some combination of outrage and disbelief.

“I don’t know what he’s capable of? You think I, of all people, don’t know what he’s capable of? Look at my face! He’s made my life miserable since 7th grade, Mark. He’s hated me ever since that project we did together. But you… God. You really made me think you were different. I thought you were better than this, but I guess I was wrong.”

“Jinyoung, just wait, please. That’s not me; you know that. I’m not...that’s not who I am.”

“But it is who you are,” Jinyoung said, no longer yelling. He looked like the energy was draining out of him. “You’re running the same path you’ve been running ever since you started hanging out with him. It’s the same thing over and over. You don’t see it because it’s you, but I do. You’re a bully, and a coward, and I don’t care how much you _feel bad_ or want to apologize, none of it matters until you _do something_.”

He said all of this so matter-of-factly, like there was no room argument.

“I told him I was done,” Mark said. “He went too far.”

“You went too far, Mark,” Jinyoung replied. “Don’t you get that? Jin crossed a line with you by coming after me, but my problem isn’t that he beat me up. My problem is you crossed a line with me by walking away.”

“I can fix this. You have to let me try. Don’t give up on this, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung shrugged. “You can’t fix it, Mark. I don’t trust you.”

“Jinyoung…”

“Don’t,” Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s done. My mom already filed for me to transfer schools anyway. So I’ll be gone and you won’t have to choose between us anymore.”

“I already chose! It’s you, Jinyoung!”

“You chose too late, Mark. You should leave. And… don’t come back here again. I can’t--I don’t want to see you.”

* * *

**[sent messages: March 03, 2015]**  
to: jinyoung-ie  <3  
12:41 am  
_i’m really sorry jinyoung-ah_

12:43 am  
_you have to believe me please. i never wanted this._

12:47 am  
_i know theres no excuse for what i did to u  
__you desrve better than that_

12:48 am _  
__better than me_

1: 23 am __  
_i know nothing i say could make it right but i swear to god_  
i SWEAR i’ll spend the rest of my life making this up to you

2:27 am  
_those street tents really should do a better job of making sure their customers are old enough to drink ha ha ha_

2:28 am  
_you’re like_

2:29 am  
_you’re really cool, did you knwo tht?  
i bet no one really tells you that but i’m telling you bc its true_

2:30 am  
_people are such assholes, you know_  
_someone like you whos smart and fun and nice they’re mean to but someone like me, who’s a piece of shit is popular. it’s not fair._

2:45 am  
_i’m really sorry_

 

 **[received messages: March 03,2015]**  
          from: jinyoung-ie  <3  
          7:45 am  
          _Mark?_

          7:50 am  
          _Are you okay??_

          8:15 am  
          _Jesus Christ, Mark, please tell me you made it home._  
_Or at least that you aren’t dead in a ditch somewhere._

 

Mark woke up with his tongue feeling like something fuzzy was growing on it and his head pounding. His eyes were stuck together with sleep, so when he unlocked his phone to see the time, the brightness of his screen blinded him. It was nearly 10--he’d missed his first and second periods completely, and by the time he got up and made it to school, he’d probably have missed the third also.

After he showered and dried off, he looked down at his phone again, and that’s when he saw the three messages from Jinyoung. Mark snatched his phone up and opened the messages, eyes widening.

 _Shit_ , he thought. _Shit shit shit no shit_

He groaned and opened his outbox, re-reading all the messages he’d sent the night before.

_God damn it._

He started and erased a reply several times but he didn’t know what to say.

 **to: jinoung-ie <3**  
10:08 am  
_Hey_.

_Mark? Are you alright?_

_Yeah. I’m fine… sorry about last night. I hope I didn’t worry you._

_Christ. You scared me._

_Don’t fucking do that._

_Sorry._

2:43 pm _  
__Can we talk again? Please?_

_Look…_

_I’m glad you’re okay, but I don’t think it’s a good idea._

_I know it’s shitty of me, but I’m not ready to forgive you, and if I see you, I’m going to want to._

_J_ _ust… don’t text me anymore. Not for awhile at least._

* * *

**[sent messages: March 29, 2015]**  
to: jinyoung-ie  <3  
11:06 pm  
_Do you ever make wishes at 11:11? I used to. I used to wish my parents would come back for me. I’m not supposed to tell you that though, because if you tell your wishes they don’t come true._

11:07 pm  
_But I can tell you that one because that’s not my wish anymore_

11:09 pm  
_Don’t be worried about me tonight, Jinyoung-ah. Jackson is with me this time and he’s allergic to soju so he’s just watching me drink. He told me not to text you but he went to the bathroom. He actually came out already but there’s a table of pretty girls in the corner and he got distracted. You know how he is._

11:10 pm  
_I shouldn’t be texting you anyway though, right? You don’t want to hear from me anymore but i couldn’t help it. I missed you. i miss you a lot._

11:11 pm  
_i’m making a wish._

* * *

**[sent messages: April 7, 2015]**  
to: jinyoung-ie  <3  
3:45 pm  
_So today was weird._

3:47 pm  
_Jin got into a fight with Chang Min today and they both got suspended. Jackson didn’t want to tell me what it was about but I made him. Apparently Chang Min and Min Ki told someone about, um, you and me. And so there was this rumor going around that the reason you switched schools was your parents found out and wanted to get you away from me. Jin pretty much kicked Chang Min’s ass but I don’t think it’s going to make a difference. People will think whatever they want to._

3:50 pm  
_In a way I’m glad you’re not here. At least you don’t have to deal with this anymore. It would have just been one more thing I need to apologize for._

4:10 pm  
_Anyway, I’m home now, and I just checked the mail, and there’s a letter from Hansung University_

4:12 pm  
_i got in._

4:15 pm  
_i take back what i said. i wish you were here._

* * *

**[sent messages: June 20, 2015]**  
to: park jinyoung  
7:45 pm  
_Our graduation ceremony was today. I still can’t believe you weren’t here to give the valedictorian speech. Yerin got to do it instead, but everyone knows it’s only because you weren’t there_

7:46 pm _  
I hope your ceremony was nice too. You were probably the top of your class even though you were only there for a few months, right?_

7:47 pm  
_Actually, the really weird thing was sitting with the top 10. Once I stopped skipping class, I managed to bring my grades up a lot. i think i thought it would impress you_

7:51 pm  
_But now that I think of it, that’s stupid because you weren’t here to see it. I guess it was a subconscious thing._

8:00 pm  
_Anyway, I’m really happy today for some reason. Maybe because it feels like I can start over at university, and no one knows me there. and i can stop… trying so hard to be this person everyone everyone expects me to be and just be who i want to be. is that stupid?_

8:04 pm  
_I wonder if you even receive all these messages. You probably blocked my number a long time ago and all of these are just floating in cyberspace somewhere and you have no idea that i’ve even been trying to talk to you all these months._

8:15 pm  
_I think i would like that better… at least then it would mean you weren’t ignoring me this whole time_

* * *

_**Epilogue**. _

Mark laid awake way later than he should have on the night before his first day of class. In the morning, he grabbed some granola bars and a bottle of water, yelled bye to his roommate who was still getting dressed, and bolted out the door, campus map tucked under his arm so he could check it once he got to the quad. If he sprinted, he wouldn’t be late, and he might even get a good seat.

He stopped to catch his breath and check the time. He still had 7 minutes to find the right building and classroom, navigate the dozens of people that seemed to milling around, and claim a seat inside the room. You got this, Mark told himself. He stuffed the map inside his bookbag after memorizing the quickest path to the Language Arts building and took off again.

Unfortunately for him, and the boy he collided with, he didn’t check to see if there was anyone in his way.

“Sorry!” Mark scrambled to pick up his bag and the glasses that had been knocked off the boy’s face. He was glad to see that they weren’t broken.

“.......Mark?”

Mark froze, the apologies he was stuttering trailing off as he looked at the face that belonged to a voice he hadn’t heard in months.

Mark was late to class.

* * *

**[received messages: September 1, 2015]**  
from: park jinyoung  
9:07 am  
_meet me at the fountain after your class?_

9:08 am  
_tell me about the wish you made._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI wow I finally finished this, I meant for it to be done by the weekend. Just wanted to say THANK YOU for taking the time to read and any comments would be much appreciated. It's been over a year since I've written fic for anything so this was me getting back in the swing of things. Hope you guys enjoyed it!!


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